"Hope"
Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord. Psalms 31:24
Multiple Sclerosis is a physically devastating disease that cripples a person’s body – often in the prime of life. But I think the mental agony can be much worse for an MS patient than the physical debilitation and pain. There is a hopelessness that comes with the MS diagnosis. “We don’t know what causes it and there is no cure,” I remember my neurologist saying. “MS affects people at varying levels of severity and we can only prescribe medication to help cope with the symptoms as they present themselves,” she finished.
When your doctor tells you that there is no cure and little understanding of the cause, you are truly left with very little hope. You are hit with the realization that you are trapped in a body that is wasting away. And, at the same time, the medical community is telling you that there is nothing that can be done about it. Your mind starts to race between panic and despair as you look at your small children and think of all the joys of their childhood and their growing up that you will not be able to share in. You wonder if you will even be alive to see them get married or to hold your grandbabies. You look at your husband and imagine the grief and struggles that will await him as he tries to cope with the care of an invalid. The vows to love, honor and cherish in times of sickness echo in your mind and you wonder if he will keep that promise. You can’t bear to think of him trying. Tears fill your eyes and energy drains from your body. Hopelessness.
But as a Christian, how can you be without hope? If God is for you, who can be against you? If all things work together for good for those who love the Lord, then there must be some good things coming – right? I believed this. Not just intellectually but in my heart. I was a born-again believer in Christ. I had read the letters from Paul and been witnessed to by his faith and courage during his times of terrible suffering. But in my moments of weakness, when I looked into the eyes of my 5-year-old, I did have my doubts. My MS diagnosis certainly tested my faith. I was not the absolute rock of faith like that of a Corry-Ten-Boom or a Fanny Crosby. My body was falling apart, I was trapped inside, and I was searching for answers. Not the cold, diagnostic answers about how I could expect to see MS ravage my body that my neurologist was offering, but answers that contained Hope.
So, I turned to my husband Daren. I truly love my husband. Physically, he is big and strong – 6’3” and 200lbs. Emotionally, he is tender and kind. Spiritually, he is grounded in a steadfast faith in Christ as his Lord and Savior. And mentally, he has a strong will to make things happen and to achieve success in the face of challenging obstacles. In fact, he is probably overly-optimistic to a fault. Well, optimism is something you can never have enough of when facing a battle with MS. I knew that I could count on Daren to provide encouragement and comfort as well as leadership on our quest for hope.
And, most importantly, I turned to the Bible. I knew that God’s Word is complete. I knew that all the answers and all the direction that I needed could be found in the Holy Scriptures. I knew the Bible stories of so many individuals who faced incredible hardships and challenges but who were miraculously cured when they turned earnestly to God. There was the boy David who toppled a giant with both a small stone from a creek bed and with enormous faith from his heart. There was Noah who was told of the coming end to civilization but who was given a crazy plan to save himself and his family and who followed through with that remarkable plan for over 100 years…. on faith! Sometimes, I wonder if Noah was the only one who God gave that plan to…. or if he was just the single one of many who had the faith to see it through.
There was the woman in the crowd who had been suffering in sickness for years. She had spent all the time and money she could afford, with all the doctors and healers she could find, but she was still sick… and probably left with little hope. But then she heard of a great man who could perform miracles. A man named Jesus who was healing the sick and teaching of God’s plan for our lives. Just hearing of Jesus gave her hope. She turned to God. She knew that she had been created by God for a reason and she knew that if she could just speak with this Jesus that He could heal her. But the crowd was too great and Jesus was being ushered past too quickly to give audience to any one person. So as hope began to walk away from her, in one last desperate act of faith, she dove forward in quiet submission, and with one outstretched hand, grasped the robe of God’s Son and was healed. Healed because she believed. Healed by Faith!
I knew of all of these stories of hope, and many more, and I knew that God also had hope for me in His Word. So, with quiet submission, when the rest of my family was asleep, I prayed to God for his guidance and opened my Bible. My prayer was that God would control my fingers and allow them to open to the very page that would give me His answer. Would I open my eyes and see the book of Job? Would I read about a Christian martyr like Steven? Would God’s answer be that my time on Earth would end soon? Whatever, the answer, I would accept it. I trusted in God. And I told God that I would honor Him and glorify Him no matter how He chose to answer me. At that moment, my faith was strong. And as I opened my Bible to 2 Corinthians 7:1, I didn’t just read the verse; I had an encounter with Christ. It was as if Jesus himself was standing there in the room with me. Goosebumps covered my body and my spine tingled. I felt the presence of Jesus. It was less of me reading the words and more of the words being spoken to me by Jesus. And with His words, there was comfort. There was truth. Here was the peace that surpasses all understanding. In fact, I did not know exactly how I was to respond. My path was not yet clear. But my destination was certain. I knew that I would be healed of MS. I knew that I had just touched the robe of Jesus and that His grace and compassion was going to free me of my suffering.
Today, I am healed of MS. Since August of 2001, when sight returned to my once-blind right eye, I have had no further MS symptoms. In fact, in December of 2002, my return to health was so complete that I joyously confessed to people that I felt physically younger and more energetic at age 35 than I did at age 25. Little did I know that 12 months later, I would deliver our third child – Braden – a healthy 8lb 10oz boy who, at age 6 months, was so healthy that he was wearing 18month clothes! What a surprise. But what a blessing! I just smile when I look back now and think about the way that God works…. often in the most unexpected of ways.
I am not in some period of remission. I am not in denial. I am cured of MS! Hallelujah and Praise God! I am healthy and, Lord willing, have every hope of being healthy and active enough to keep up with my grandchildren 40 years from now.
In the next chapters, I will take you step by step through the cause and cure of my MS. It is my sincerest prayer that my story will bring you the hope and the answers that you need to successfully battle your own sickness or help you to help your loved ones who may be suffering. I also pray that I can help you to increase your faith in Jesus and the truths of the Bible.
You will see many specific treatments, therapies and lifestyle changes that I employed to rid my body of MS. They are sound. But I am not a worshiper of therapies. I am not here to glorify them. God created us for His glory and His pleasure. God allowed me to endure the initial pain and suffering of MS and then led me through the healing process so that I would glorify and praise Him.
People fail. Doctors fail. I fail. The human race is fallen. People will always disappoint you at some point. Now, we all need to look for the good in others. And we need to trust and love each other. Jesus taught us that. But we first need to put our trust and faith in God and look to Jesus for answers. If we have faith in Him, He will never leave us or forsake us. So, I encourage you, as you read about my healing, to keep your heart open and your hand outstretched in submission to the healing powers of our savior, Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 7:1 - Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
